I don’t know why, but today it suddenly felt as though we had set out on two journeys at once. Sometimes there is an urge to speak up, other times to stay silent, yet we fail to understand what it is we truly want. But what is the use of asking what we want, when we end up doing only what society expects of us, or what our loved ones desire? Thinking this over, I didn’t even notice how the entire day slipped away from morning until evening.
Then, getting up, I looked into the mirror and found that I was not alone. In the reflection stood two figures: one who is truly myself, and the other forged under the pressure of society and family. That was when I understood I was walking two paths simultaneously. And then I remembered—the authentic self within me has somehow become lost, while the person visible to everyone else is not truly me at all. I don’t know why, despite existing, I am not truly present.
“This dual journey is turning into a suffocation. How long can it go on? I don’t know. But one thing is clear: those who ride two boats will surely sink. I know that if I don’t choose one path, my boat will sink soon too.”
The Dilemma of Choice
Now comes the question: which path to choose? The one that is truly mine, or the one I was shaped to be? Why is it always so difficult to stand up for oneself? Why do we always choose chains—whether willingly or under someone else’s pressure, we manage to build a cage for ourselves.
The Loss of Confidence
Look closely at yourself: Who are you? Are you truly this, or something else? When I asked this question to myself, the other self standing in the mirror replied, “I am right here, but the one asking the question is someone else.” And if we ask that questioner, “Who are you?”, the answer comes back: “Broken dreams, a shattered character, and a lost confidence that barely exists. Is this truly who I am?”
Why do I lack confidence? Why do we always need a crutch? Those who lack confidence are the ones who need crutches—those who always need a finger to hold onto in order to navigate their journey. But such people do not live long, because they have already died inside; only their bodies remain. And this isn’t just my story—it is the story of every girl who finds herself walking two paths due to some circumstance or another.
The Prison of Limitations
Why are we not even given the right to decide which single path we wish to walk? Is this what life is? Were we brought into this world just to live like this? A world so vast and beautiful, which we will leave without ever seeing. We don’t even realize that beyond where we stand lies a wonderful world full of things to see and learn. But the boundaries of our lives are pre-drawn, keeping us blind to what lies beyond.
If we ever crossed those boundaries, we might slip from anyone’s control; we would learn to walk on our own two feet. We wouldn’t need anyone else’s support. But we are kept far away from these valuable and precious truths. We are so tightly bound to trivial things that we never manage to look up and see beyond.
Attachment to Trivialities
Why do we hold such deep affection for trivial things? Why do they become so valuable to us, and why do we sacrifice our lives and freedom for them? The answer is simple: we are taught that these petty things are so precious that we must surrender our freedom to earn them. And the ones telling us this are our own people. Believing that family must be right, we surrender our freedom for these trifles.
We are never told that there are far more valuable and precious things in this world—things that, once found, transform our entire life and perspective. Things that keep us free from pressure, fear, and subservience. That is why these trivial things are made to seem so valuable, ensuring we never even think of seeking what is truly precious.
The Awakening
We must understand and recognize what is truly essential for us, and what merely binds us. The true self whispered this to herself—not the persona society manufactured. She must understand that she needs to choose one path: a path of her own, a path of introspection, self-knowledge, and true identity, rather than an identity born of external pressure.
Fight for yourself. If you do not fight, if you do not stand tall, you will only ever live a false identity and walk a restricted path. You will never reach your true destination.
Discover yourself, and meet the person who is your truest, best friend. Meet your authentic identity.
Goodbye for today, my friends.