We have probably said about someone at some point, “This person will never change.” Or someone must have said about us, “You will never change.” But does it really always happen like this?
Many people believe that human beings do not change, or that their nature never changes. One who betrays once can betray again. Someone who is stubborn will always remain that way. Someone whose nature is to get angry will always remain hot-tempered. But does it really always happen this way? Haven’t we ever seen someone who used to be something else and today is completely different?
When we talk about change, the first question that arises is what actually changes—personality or behavior? And if people change, what is the reason behind it? These are such questions that stand before us as soon as the topic of change comes up.
These questions are not new. In various forms, they have been asked for centuries. Recently, I was reading a book. In it, a disciple asked a very great philosopher the exact same question: “If people can change, what actually changes in them?” Perhaps this is why this subject still forces people to think.
If I speak based on my experience, perhaps when a person changes, sometimes their behavior changes and sometimes their personality does. It depends on the reason why they are changing. There are some circumstances that bring a change only in our behavior, while some circumstances affect our personality as well.
Suppose a person used to be very outspoken and hot-tempered. They had money, authority, and people obeyed them. But due to some reason, they lost all of this and now they are working under someone else for their livelihood. In such a situation, it is possible that they have to bring a change in their behavior. They cannot behave the way they did before, because circumstances have changed.
On the other hand, someone fails in some task. People tell them, “You won’t be able to do it,” or “We already knew this is beyond your capability.” Even after hearing these things, if that same person stands up again, learns to believe in themselves, and starts looking at life from a new perspective, then it is possible that this transformation is not limited to their behavior, but also affects their personality.
Both situations were different, so the nature of the change was also different.
Sometimes it also happens that we experience a change in both behavior and personality simultaneously. Perhaps a time comes in everyone’s life when they are no longer what they used to be. Sometimes just a single event is enough to change a person from within.
However, it is not necessary that every change is visible. Some changes happen very deep within. In such changes, a person first returns to themselves. They introspect, ask themselves questions, try to understand their mistakes, and slowly begin to change without making any noise. An outside observer might not notice anything different, but a lot has changed inside.
Perhaps that is why it is not right to always judge a person by their past. If we really want to know someone, we should also try to look at their present. Because what a person once was, it is not necessary that they are still the same today.
Perhaps the question is not whether people can change or not. The question is from what perspective we look at change. Sometimes it is visible in behavior, sometimes in personality, and sometimes it is so deep that only the person who has lived it can feel it.
It is easy to define someone forever based on their past, but understanding their present is much harder. Perhaps the meaning of change is not becoming like someone else, but getting closer to the best version of oneself.
Now the question is before you—do people really change, or does our vision of seeing them change?
Share your perspective.